Carrie Frances Fisher died this morning due to complications following a heart attack during a London to Los Angeles flight on Friday. The sensationally sarcastic 60-year-old, most known for her role as Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies, was daughter to actress Debbie Reynolds and pop star Eddie Fischer and ex-wife of singer songwriter Paul Simon, as well as being a prolific author, much-called-upon screenwriter/doctor and highly-acclaimed stage performer.
Yes, this space princess was all of those things, but to paraphrase Max von Sydow’s line on “General” Leia’s title change in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, “she’ll always be royalty to us.”
Here are some painfully funny and moving quotes straight from the mouth of the most badass princess and wittiest wookie lover this side of a planet formerly known as Alderaan.
Leia’s Wardrobe Wars: Episode I
“I weighed about 105 pounds at the time [during the first Star Wars film]. But I carried about 50 of those pounds in my face. So you know what a good idea would be? Give me a hairstyle that further widens my already wide face!"
On her problems with pills
“One of the side effects of Percodan is feelings of euphoria -- and I always felt that was a side effect I could deal with.”
On a higher power
“You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well, I took masses of opiates religiously.”
On her recently revealed "method acting" affair with Harrison Ford
"It was so intense. It was Han and Leia during the week, and Carrie and Harrison during the weekend."
Leia’s Wardrobe Wars: Episode II
“Who wears this much lip gloss into battle?”
On her many travels
“Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.”
On her struggles with mental illness
“I thought I would inaugurate a Bipolar Pride Day. You know, with floats and parades and stuff! On the floats we would get the depressives, and they wouldn’t even have to leave their beds -- we’d just roll their beds out of their houses, and they could continue staring off miserably into space. And then for the manics, we’d have the manic marching band, with manics laughing and talking and shopping and fucking and making bad judgment calls.”
On her struggles with mom
“Not that it matters, but my mother is not a lesbian! She's just a really, really bad heterosexual.”
Leia’s Wardrobe Wars: Episode III
“George comes up to me the first day of filming and he takes a look at the dress and says, 'You can't wear a bra under that dress.' So, I say, 'OK, I'll bite. Why?' And he says, 'Because ... there's no underwear in space.' I promise you this is true, and he says it with such conviction too! Like he had been to space and looked around and he didn't see any bras or panties or briefs anywhere.”
On Hollywood hardware
“Having waited my entire life to get an award for something, anything ... I now get awards all the time for being mentally ill. It’s better than being bad at being insane, right? How tragic would it be to be runner-up for Bipolar Woman of the Year?”
On the happiness myth
“If you have the expectation that you're going to be happy throughout your life -- more to the point, if you have a need to be comfortable all the time -- well, among other things, you have the makings of a classic drug addict or alcoholic.”
On shallow reviews
“Please stop debating about whether or not [I’ve] aged well -- unfortunately it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn’t aged as well as I have.”
Leia’s Wardrobe Wars: Episode IV
"It was like steel, not steel, but hard plastic, and if you stood behind me you could see straight to Florida. You'll have to ask Boba Fett about that.”
On quoting others
“I quote fictional characters, because I'm a fictional character myself!”
Bill Schulz
Bill Schulz is the former co-host of Fox News Channel's late-night panel show "Red Eye", current New York Times columnist on local museums, and permanent Leo (who still acts like a total Sagittarius).
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